I leave you with this.
After walking out of the hospital sometime in January feeling very discouraged, tears rolling down, not knowing what was to happen, I saw this crayon on the ground, which reminded me of my nephew who was in the hospital, on life support. It was his favorite color, and everything was “yellow” to him at the time. I picked that crayon up as if it was some kind of message to not let go, or maybe it was just a coincidence that some kid lost a crayon… what ever it was, I took it and held on to it as a sign that he is going to be just fine.
It was a long journey seeing him go through so much and watching his parents break down, yet still by his side 24/7. They never left that hospital from the day he went in til the day he got out. I keep this crayon in my car for positive vibes and as a reminder that we may be here right now, but anything past this moment is not a guarantee. Cherish those around you, bring people closer even when they become distant. Let go of what’s happened and live in the moment. Enjoy the little things in life as I’m enjoying this yellow crayon each time I sit in my car.
Remember to be kind, as you never know what difficulties others are encountering in their life. Be there for those in need, and love as much as you can. May you all find peace and love within.
I was in my mid twenties driving home from New Hampshire and half way into the road trip, I remember getting a phone call from one of my best friends telling me that our other best friend had gotten hit by a car while walking.
That same friend who was hit by a car was hit because she decided to jump in front of it to end her life, but it didn’t quite end the way she had imagined. She was in a critical condition for about two weeks, maybe even longer. I knew something was going on with her and her depression, but I never knew that she would actually attempt to kill herself. As much as we told her we loved her, cared for her, and would have done anything to help her, that was never enough.
I was recently looking at some statistics and sadly, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide is on the top ten leading causes of death, and it is the second leading cause of death between ages 10-34.
Suicide is not an easy subject to talk to about, especially with someone who is at risk regardless of how low or how high the risk may be. However, it’s important to continue to have conversations with someone at risk of suicide, and you should always speak up if you’re worried about them.
I knew I had no idea how to help my friend at risk, but I always kept my communication open with her and let her know that I cared for her. Her case was very severe and there came a point when I had no idea what to do or say to make her feel better. If anything, I had to be careful when having conversations with her because certain things would trigger her negative state of mind. Without having to give too many details about her situation, I continued to talk to her mom and our mutual friend on a regular basis. The three of us communicated about the situation and tired to figure out how to get her help, which came down to involving the professionals: doctors, therapists, psychologists, etc.
As much as it hurt to see her face such a dark side and as much as I knew there was nothing I could do at the time, I still felt guilty for not being able to help.
You may not be able to help them directly, but you can continue to show them that you love and care for them. They need that constant reminder as much as they may not believe it at the moment. They need someone they can talk to and trust.
There came a point where my friend’s thoughts took control over her, and sometimes she was very delusional. However, I always listened and I felt that that’s all I could do at the time. If it gets to a point when you feel helpless, talk to another close family member or a friend and see where you can take it from there. You don’t have to deal with it on your own. You can also get the professionals involved from the National Suicide Prevention Life Line at 1(800) 237 TALK, they can guide you in the right direction.
If you are someone going through a rough time and are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please talk to someone you can trust and get professional help. It’s not going to be an easy process, but I promise, with time, effort, commitment, and the right help, you will get better slowly, but surely.
It took my friend several years to overcome her worst and it took a lot of work, but she stuck with it and she’s gotten so much better. It makes me happy to see her living today and enjoying the moments she wouldn’t have been able to enjoy if she hadn’t been here.
Know that you are unique in your own way as everyone else is. You have so much to offer in this world and remember that you are not alone in this.
In todays episode I get an opportunity to speak to the amazing Missy and we discuss her journey in life with depersonalization. We dive into her hardships, the challenges and frustrations with the current mental health field, and her dreams and goals of bringing a change to a current culture that doesn’t support the needs of mental health let alone those diagnosed and/or struggling with depersonalization, all forms of anxiety, depression, etc.
For those that do not know … Depersonalization is an anxiety-triggered feeling of being cut off from reality. It manifests in various ways but the most common symptoms are:
feeling as though you are in some sort of dream state, as though you or the people around you are not real, as though you have become detached from the world; as though you are watching your thoughts, feelings and physical self, from outside of yourself; as though you are not in control of your speech or your physical movements.**
So tune in and take a listen. Missy’s story is a beautiful example on how important community and/or family support are and how even through our struggles we can perservere
RESOURCES SHARED DURING THE PODCAST:
https://www.heysigmund.com/depersonalization-silent-epidemic-shaun-oconnor/?fbclid=IwAR08_hs8llEMLkEkoRh-JIJimgNyjO_LeEPteKSjtt8G_7BcD35wZX-pVWs **(Also the resource of the definition of depersonalization above)
**Let us know your thoughts and thank you for listening!!
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I’ve gone through this phase in life where I’ve searched for the idea of LOVE. Fantasized about how wonderful it would be to be surrounded by infinite amounts of love with no strings attached.
I’ve been watching a lot of romantic comedies lately and began to reflect on the beauty of romance films.
Are they too far fetched? Do they paint a reality of love that doesn’t exist?
For a while growing up, I used to think they did. I used to believe that the reason why relationships were so skewed, messed up, and bound to fail is because movies and the entertainment industry painted love and relationships to be so effortless and so “perfect.” But I believed the reality was that love and relationships take a lot of hard work and are far from perfect. I used to hear stories of people in relationships that just flowed, just like in the romance movies and I thought they were bullshit. There was no way that a relationship could be that simple.
As I was watching my romance films this past week I couldn’t help but think, what if romance novels are a true portrayal of what love should be like. Just simply flow and click and what if people are the ones that complicated love and added all these rules and stipulations making it a bigger mess then it was meant to be.
I grew up thinking that if someone said I love you and you just met them, or an allotted amount of time hadn’t gone by then that meant they were:
desperate, needy, crazy, clingy, obsessed, etc.
But why? I think I grew up thinking those things because of how it was painted to me in the entertainment industry with the movies that weren’t all about romance but betrayal, dishonesty, cheating, lying, and DRAMA.
I remember that if someone said those three words too soon it was game over, but if they didn’t say it soon enough then that meant they didn’t care. If you saw a couple showing an absurd amount of PDA then you felt grossed out by it thinking things along the lines of “get a room, their relationship is fake, it won’t last long, they’re in the honeymoon stage” and if they didn’t show any PDA then something was just as wrong.
How did we get to a place where Love had rules and needed to fall into specific categories, check off certain boxes, and be portrayed a certain way to be considered LOVE. Love is meant to flow like a river at it’s own pace, own rhythm, in it’s own time.
Not boxed and categorized by us but instead left alone to be free and flow.
People are so afraid to let love enter their hearts because that means there is more opportunity to get hurt and broken hearted. Yet it’s the very thing we all seek the most, to be loved. Love I believe is the very core of what we are called to be in life ; loving. Yet it’s the very thing that’s greatly misunderstood.
Love is a lot simpler than we make it and although it’s multifaceted and complex in its own way, I believe the complexity lies in how we define love and how we shape it.
Love was meant to be free. Free of rules. Free of regulations. Free of requirements. Free of hatred. Free of expectations. Free of confusion.
Love was never meant to be placed in a box but instead was called to be untethered and free.