I’ve gone through this phase in life where I’ve searched for the idea of LOVE. Fantasized about how wonderful it would be to be surrounded by infinite amounts of love with no strings attached.
I’ve been watching a lot of romantic comedies lately and began to reflect on the beauty of romance films.
Are they too far fetched? Do they paint a reality of love that doesn’t exist?
For a while growing up, I used to think they did. I used to believe that the reason why relationships were so skewed, messed up, and bound to fail is because movies and the entertainment industry painted love and relationships to be so effortless and so “perfect.” But I believed the reality was that love and relationships take a lot of hard work and are far from perfect. I used to hear stories of people in relationships that just flowed, just like in the romance movies and I thought they were bullshit. There was no way that a relationship could be that simple.
As I was watching my romance films this past week I couldn’t help but think, what if romance novels are a true portrayal of what love should be like. Just simply flow and click and what if people are the ones that complicated love and added all these rules and stipulations making it a bigger mess then it was meant to be.
I grew up thinking that if someone said I love you and you just met them, or an allotted amount of time hadn’t gone by then that meant they were:
desperate, needy, crazy, clingy, obsessed, etc.
But why? I think I grew up thinking those things because of how it was painted to me in the entertainment industry with the movies that weren’t all about romance but betrayal, dishonesty, cheating, lying, and DRAMA.
I remember that if someone said those three words too soon it was game over, but if they didn’t say it soon enough then that meant they didn’t care. If you saw a couple showing an absurd amount of PDA then you felt grossed out by it thinking things along the lines of “get a room, their relationship is fake, it won’t last long, they’re in the honeymoon stage” and if they didn’t show any PDA then something was just as wrong.
How did we get to a place where Love had rules and needed to fall into specific categories, check off certain boxes, and be portrayed a certain way to be considered LOVE. Love is meant to flow like a river at it’s own pace, own rhythm, in it’s own time.
Not boxed and categorized by us but instead left alone to be free and flow.
People are so afraid to let love enter their hearts because that means there is more opportunity to get hurt and broken hearted. Yet it’s the very thing we all seek the most, to be loved. Love I believe is the very core of what we are called to be in life ; loving. Yet it’s the very thing that’s greatly misunderstood.
Love is a lot simpler than we make it and although it’s multifaceted and complex in its own way, I believe the complexity lies in how we define love and how we shape it.
Love was meant to be free. Free of rules. Free of regulations. Free of requirements. Free of hatred. Free of expectations. Free of confusion.
Love was never meant to be placed in a box but instead was called to be untethered and free.