Plagued thoughts


I came across a gorgeous photo on dA that I couldn’t help but sketch and for whatever reason this photo touched my heart. The photo is titled “Plague” and it made me really think about my day today.

Today was one of those days where I was extremely overwhelmed. A day when nothing felt like it was going right. Where my mind wanted to repeat everything that continued to go wrong making me feel like nothing was going to get better.

A day where my thoughts easily consumed me and made me forget my purpose for fighting.

A pity party day.

 A day where I wanted to feel loved but felt alone.

 A day where I called my friend to say hi and they were conveniently busy, my friends weren’t  around, and everything seemed to annoy me.

And that photo I sketched made me think of my day today. Of that feeling of suffocation, of hopelessness, of being consumed by negativity.

Luckily for me my morning study by Joyce Meyer was themed “The power of our thoughts” and she spoke about how important it is to pretty much karate chop and dump out all that junk that tries to live in our head. It’s truly a constant battle of replacing the bad with the good.  The negative with the positive!

So what did I do? Just that! I worked out for a little, organized myself, created a routine and to do list for the day, stretched, and drew and kept replacing bad thoughts with good. I was doing great but then my friend sent me a text that I misinterpreted and got upset about. (Even our loved ones can push us off track sometimes accidentally) so I took some time to get back on track and think positive.

I was doing great once again then a coworker mentioned something that reminded me for the umteenth time that I didn’t like my job. For a while I had a pity party and poor me moment. Then I realized I needed to get my thoughts back on track and decided that instead of complaining I was going to start applying to jobs.

So today although I felt like I was suffocating and had to duke it out with some of the thoughts going through my head, I learned a valuable lesson…

That our mind is very powerful and can convince us of things that aren’t true “I’m never going to get a job I like”, “I’m never going to get married or fall in love” “I suck” etc. The important thing to remember is those negative thoughts aren’t true! You will amount to something amazing. You will find someone. YOU WILL (fill in the blank )

I am lucky and blessed that God is there every step of the way guiding me and helping me get through it.

And as Joyce Meyer said

“It is never too late to begin again”

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